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15
Aug

Walking alone on a remote beach in southwest Florida, The Killer of Premature EjaculationI was startled to hear splashes and a deep sigh coming from the water just offshore.

As I squinted in the direction of the sounds, the rounded gray back of a sea creature rose amid a red froth , rolled turbulently at the surface, then sank back into the Gulf. Moments later a broad nose emerged and exhaled in a great snuffling breath. It was a manatee , and by the looks of the reddish-colored water and the way it was thrashing, it was in trouble.

I had often watched manatees in these warm coastal waters, but I’d never seen one act like this before. Usually just their big nostrils appeared for a gulp of air as they foraged on sea grasses or swam slowly to greener underwater pastures. But I also knew how common it was for these lumbering giants to be gashed by boat propellers or entangled in crab traps.

I wanted to help, but what could I do? There was no one else on the beach, and the nearest phone to call the Marine Patrol was miles away.

Tossing my beach bag onto the sand, I began wading toward the animal, who continued to writhe as if in distress. I was still only waist deep when I came close enough to make out the bristly whiskers on the manatee’s muzzle as it thrust up out of the sea. Then, to my surprise, a second muzzle, much smaller, poked up beside it.

I pushed on through the shoal water, but now the manatees were also moving toward me. Before I knew what was happening, I was in chest-deep water encircled by not one or two, but at least three blimplike bodies. I felt elated and slightly dizzy like the kid who is ‘it’ in a schoolyard game.

A bulbous snout emerged next to me. In the translucent water, I could clearly see the rest of the huge mammal, and there, nestled close behind her, a smaller version of her massive body.

Then, with incredible gentleness for such an enormous creature, the larger manatee nudged the little one with her paddle-shaped flipper and pushed it to the surface beside me. I wanted to reach out and touch the pudgy sea baby, but I hesitated, not knowing the rules of this inter-species encounter.

As the two slipped back underwater, two other manatees moved in from behind and slid by, one on either side, rubbing gently against my body as they swam past. They circled and repeated the action, this time followed by the mother and her calf. Emboldened by their overtures, I let my hand graze the side of the small manatee, now clinging to the mother’s back, as they made their pass. Its skin felt rubbery and firm like an old fashioned hot water bottle.

The group completed several more circuits. Since they obviously enjoyed touching me, I began stroking each of them as they sidled by. When one of them rolled over for a scratch, I knew I had made the right move.

Eventually my new friends made their way off towards deeper water. I stood anchored to the spot, not wishing to break the spell, until finally the rising tide forced me back to shore.

I suppose I will never know exactly what took place that morning. I like to think that the manatees included me in their celebration of a birth; that I was welcomed to meet the newest member of their tribe. But over time I have come to cherish the experience without questions.

During that unexpected rendezvous , I felt more in tune with the rhythms of life on this vast planet than I ever have. The memory has become a song I sing to myself when I have the blues, a dance I do to celebrate joy.

And each year, during the last week of May, I pack a lunch and head for that isolated stretch of beach for a quiet little birthday picnic on the shore. After all, you never know who might show up for the party.Wodibo

3
Aug

During my 25 years as a marital therapist, Satibo I have seen hundreds of people disappointed over unfulfilling relationships. I have seen passion turn to poison. I have grieved with patients for the love they lost or never found.

“We seemed to love so much, but now it’s gone,” one woman lamented to me. “Why do I feel so lonely every night even when he is right there beside me? Why can’t marriage be more than this?”

It can. I was once invited to the 60th-anniversary celebration of a remarkable couple. I asked the husband, Peter, if he ever felt lonely and wondered where the love between him and Lita had gone. Peter laughed and said, “If you wonder where your love went, you forgot that you are the one who makes it. Love is not out there; it’s in here between Lita and me.”

I know we can love deeply, tenderly and lastingly. I have seen such love, and I have felt such love myself. Here are the law I have discovered for such lasting and loving relationships—put time where love is.

A fulfilling marriage begins when two people make time together their No.1 priority. If we hope to find love, we must first find time for loving.

Unfortunately, current psychology rests on the model of the independent ego. To make a lasting marriage we have to overcome self-centeredness. We must go beyond what psychologist Abraham Maslow called “self-actualization” to “us-actualization”. We have to learn to put time where love is.

Many couples have experienced a tragic moment that taught them to value their time together. One husband related how he sat trapped in his car after a crash. His wife was outside, crying and banging on the window. “I thought I was going to die before we had enough time together.” He told me. “Right then I promised to make the time to love my wife. Our time is our own now, and those hours are sacred .”Procomil Spray